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Words that Last for Good

It’s humbling to consider which of the many words we speak to acquaintances will be remembered decades later. Like the room mom who told eight-year-old me I was a complainer on a field trip (I was and I am, God forgive me). Or the pastor’s wife who informed me that my problem is I didn’t know how to share (I’m not sure exactly what she meant, but I’ve been pondering it for twenty years).  Or the women in Latin America who pleaded with us (American teenagers) to take their babies back to the U.S. Often the words we remember are heart-wrenching or critical, but sometimes they are beautiful and inspirational. Like the grandma who said through a translator that kids whose fathers hold them a lot have better dispositions (no official study to cite, but I think she’s right). Or the new friend who described time with our family as “life-giving”. Or the border officer who smiled as he said, “Welcome home” when our swollen feet finally planted on American ground after forty hours of travel.   I
Recent posts

Making Peace with War (and Cribbage)

I  don’t like games. There. I said it. Board games. Card games. Video games. I find them tedious and fractionating. Moreover, they tend to keep conversation from going below the surface. I do enjoy athletic games as exercise and demonstrations of incredible human capacity. And lawn games are a happy compromise between a nature walk and a real sporting event. But in general, when given the choice between doing dishes and keeping score among friends: I would choose the dishes. With an audio book or witty companion, ideally.     In college and medical school, I often organized game nights because it’s what people who didn’t want to go out to bars or clubs did. It’s what “my people” (nerds) did. I made sure we addressed at least a couple of important issues between turns and had plenty of good food for those of us who showed up for company rather than competition. My dislike for mock combat has only deepened with each child; motherhood has turned my brain into a minefield of queries and co

Questions We Don’t Like to Ask

When we lived in West Africa, a friend's pregnant relative bled to death in another city on the steps of a hospital that wouldn't treat her because she didn't have cash in hand. I remember feeling appalled and furious as she recounted the situation. Mission hospitals as a general rule will treat anyone, though sometimes national administrators determine the best way to stay in operation is to require the patient or a relative remain on site until the bill is paid. But in much of the world, those who cannot pay do not receive life-sustaining medical care and die either outside the hospital's doors or even in a hospital bed.  It is easier to post about what brings people together: topics like food, nature, education, or children. Because honestly, who could be against these things? But sometimes the harder issues churn in our hearts, begging to be spoken. Matters of injustice, inequity, and corruption. Nearly daily I find myself sorting through medical situations friends

On Losing My Virtual Footprint and Physical Ticket

Thirty years ago, the technology that just turned my digital world upside down was unimaginable. I was locked out of my Google account because I foolishly left a Google voice number as a two-factor authentication. So when I was logged out of all devices unexpectedly, I couldn’t receive text messages to prove my identity.  The thought of trying to describe this situation to someone in the 90’s is comical. What is Google? Two-factor authentication? A digital world? Similarly, I can’t imagine explaining that despite having a ticket, I couldn’t board a plane that had a seat for me because a computer wouldn’t print my youngest child's boarding pass. In pursuing security and efficiency, have we lost common sense?  Technology has changed the world so quickly that I am old enough to remember a time when manual workarounds were commonplace and young enough to expect a lot more change will come in my lifetime. I spent much of yesterday trying every possible means of recovering ten years of e

Syncretism and the Kingdom of God

Per google, syncretism may be defined as "the amalgamation or attempted amalgamation of different religions, cultures, or schools of thought." What would American Christian syncretism look like? What about Khmer syncretism? Cameroonian syncretism? Syncretism is easier to identify when you aren't involved in it. It also is explicit when the mixture is a pagan religion and Christianity. It is more subtle when culture or politics become the lens by which we understand morality and truth, and the lens by which we interpret the Bible. And it is more subtle still when we give ourselves ultimate moral authority and interpret scripture based on our own personal biases and preferences. The Bible is the ultimate source of truth. If anything supercedes the Bible, we must pause. And such pausing is healthy, because we all place things above the Bible. Whether we are American, Cambodian, Cameroonian, Indian, Korean, or Chinese, we are ethnocentric, and the way we view the wor

If You Give a Perfectionist a Choice (and Other Reflections on Parenting)

  Ethan took the three older kids to a tiny-pandemic-birthday-party-in-a-big-space this afternoon. This is the first time the kids have left our apartment complex since mid-February, aside from visiting their brother in the hospital and attending a required interview at the Embassy. They were pumped. Like composing a tune and rocking out on the futon and/or sitting near the door with socks and bugspray on ready to go (personality-dependent division). The relative silence of the past hour turned me into Superwoman. I’m listening to classical music while eating baked oatmeal and writing a blog I had time to think about during my uninterrupted workout. Our baby is sleeping in front of our industrial-sized fan. The 90 degree-heat and unmentionable humidity can’t hold me back. I remember watching mothers of more than one child in utter amazement as a first-time mom just eight years ago. Did they have extra arms? Extra hours in their days? How did they do it? In the hospital last month

The Summer of Our Discontent

Lust isn’t always about bodies. Lust is about our eyes — where we set our gaze. We covet what we allow ourselves to linger on, especially in regards to others’ possessions and experiences.  Any scroll through social media can bring up those desires: good books on a soft carpet in front of a warm fire. Wide open roads in a spacious vehicle and trips to beautiful vistas. Kids frolicking in the snow. Feet in the ocean.  Summer is my least favorite season, and it is always Summer here. Aside from the oppressive heat, Summer stretches on in an unchanging monotony of yellow and green and brown. No real temperature fluctuations. Little to no wind. Plenty of bugs with no winter to kill them. Not much  scope for the imagination nor hint of change on the horizon.  The antidote for lust is to flee. Close our eyes. Turn away. Set our gaze on something else, something more likely to remind us of how much we have already been given.  Employing the “snooze” on friends’ feeds is a powerful way of turn